We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
