biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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