? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
