I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
he laminated a picture of his dick.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
