When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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