3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My dick has a subreddit
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
