these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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