Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
