It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I have fence marks all over my body
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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