She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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