she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Two words: blizzard sex
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
