sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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