I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
50% drunk capacity currently
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
