Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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