i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
