You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
