They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
