hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
