Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize