Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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