You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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