Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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