In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
