its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
