I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
