i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
