Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
