I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
