ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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