the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
