Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
