READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
