Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
How external is "for external use only"?
I AM VODKA MAN
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
