I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Can I color on your dick again?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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