So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
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