I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Randomize
