I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
