She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
