she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
