hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
