3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
