how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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