Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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