Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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