if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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