You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
