Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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