All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
