You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
