i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
