can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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