Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
