You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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