I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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