His pubic hair was longer than his dick
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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