I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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