So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
