i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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