It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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