So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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