if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
