I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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